Iranians

I intended to send a post about the EMU here but I came across this writing about "Iranians and their characteristics" and I thought it might be interesting for you to see how we make fun of ourselves back home. (However, after reading it twice I realised that it is not that funny.) I would say most of Iranians won't be happy to make fun of their country but that attitude is bullcrap anyway!
I have added some things (mostly as explanations of things you might not be acquainted with) and I've put them in brackets..
Tell me later how you liked it (or disliked it!)
This is a translation of an article in an Iranian web-based newspaper.
Here we go..
Iranians
- A bunch of middle-easterns [who think] that they know everything in the world and are the wisest; They are the CEOs of NASA and Google [we do claim that every successful person is Iranian!] They have the oldest history ever, they are pissed-off of their current situation and the situation is supposed to be fixed in few months. [It is supposed to be in few months since I was 5!]
- National characteristics:
We are aware of what happened 3000 years ago but we don't know what is happening at the moment throughout the world.
The world belonged to us some time before but those bastards took it away!; otherwise we would have controlled it the way we are controlling Iran now! [so lucky Iranians don't own the world].
Truth is a good thing but let's talk about it in 10 centuries, not now.
It would be awesome if there was a hero who solves our problems and dies immediately.
- Sayings and expressions:
"We would sacrifice ourselves for our country but we have to go to a trip now, maybe later."
"If it were not because of us, Canadians would have been dead by now! [We say that everywhere else is using our! wisdom to succeed!]"
".. He is such an honest guy, that's what I like about him. Even if he screws the entire country, he does it honestly"
".. we hope that there is a government which is not like western governments, not like Shah [The last king of Iran] either, not like these current guys as well, not like past too, also not a corrupt one..." [So? what then?]
"Let's slaughter this arrogant guy"
"Art is an Iranian-made object"[Believe it or not, we really claim everything!]
"We don't want to own the hotel when we can buy the owner of it"
- How Iranians address their government:
"These fellas", "Those arseholes", "1000 families" [indicating that they all are somehow linked], "These motherfuckers", "Bosses", "British"[yeah, it's true!], "Gentlemen"
- Iranians are experts in these:
We lose one fifth of the country each century.
Instead of maintaining our house regularly, we renovate it every 12 years.
Each decade, 1 million Iranians migrate to other countries and don't go back.
Every 5 years, we either kill, sue, damage the reputation, or at least smash 10 of our politicians.
Once a year, we invent things that are already invented.
We decide to change our fate every month but we never do it.
We intend to dramatically change ourselves once a day.

...
*Pictures of Tehran are taken from Tehran-24.com and Babak Farrokhi's website.